Posted by spooneybarger
Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:26:00 GMT
For (Ron) Paul, everything comes back to money, including Iraq. “No matter how much you love the empire,” he says, “it’s unaffordable.” Wars are expensive, and there has been a tendency throughout history to pay for them by borrowing. A day of reckoning always comes, says Paul, and one will come for us. Speaking this spring before the libertarian Future of Freedom Foundation in Reston, Va., he warned of a dollar crisis. “That’s usually the way empires end,” he said. “It wasn’t us forcing the Soviets to build missiles that brought them down. It was the fact that socialism doesn’t work. Our system doesn’t work much better.”
Posted by spooneybarger
Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:11:39 GMT
Hey, I'm feeling so dirty, you're looking so clean
All you can give is a spin in your washing machine
I fly off to Rome to my prima bella
She leaves me in the rain with telescopic umbrella
Ooh the pain - Modern love can be a strain
I trusted my Venus was untouched in her shell
But the pearls in her oyster were tacky as hell
For Lady Godiva I came incognito
But her driver had stolen her red hot magneto
Ooh the pain - Modern love can be a strain
I don't know why they leave me in the lurch
To carry on the search
It's driving me up the wall
Pity when I have so much passion
Romance is out of fashion
Can't handle modern love at all
So I worship Diana by the light of the moon
When I pull out my pipe she screams out of tune
In Paris my heart sinks when I see the Mona Lisa
She gives me the wink, then she shows me the freezer
Ooh the pain - Modern love can be a strain
Posted by spooneybarger
Wed, 01 Nov 2006 16:47:43 GMT
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher, whose
hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a
conversation with the old man. Eventually, the topic got around to former
Texas Governor George W. Bush and his elevation to the White House.
The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'." Not being
familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, When you're driving down a country road and you
come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a "post
turtle." The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he
continued to explain. "You know.... he didn't get there by himself, he
doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there,
and you just want to help the pitiful thing get down."
Posted by spooneybarger
Fri, 27 Oct 2006 15:34:45 GMT
"It was hot, man, that heat exhaustion will affect you quick. Let me tell you something: This climate change, this ozone-layer stuff, is killing football! I don't know what's going on, but fossils fuels, everyone needs to convert to electric cars. Get off your SUVs. If you do, have one that converts from V8 to V4. 'Cuz it is not supposed to be hot in October. Last I heard when I was in high school in October it was 50 [degrees], it was 40. I don't care if you were in Florida, it was 70 in Florida. This is ridiculous. A hundred and five in the middle of October in Florida? C'mon, man, you gotta be kidding me. I'm full of political action statements right now. Get a grip. Get some hydrogen fuel, or electric, or something like that. Stop using your styrofoam cups. You're killing me. El Niño is here!"
Posted by spooneybarger
Thu, 26 Oct 2006 13:31:12 GMT
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Posted by spooneybarger
Sat, 07 Oct 2006 18:34:00 GMT
There is just enough in this ‘label approved posting’ for you to know that this man is a tool…
BJ is probably one of the top tools of the last 25 years…
Disagree?
Well, you just might be a tool.
I mean the video below is about the least amount of ‘tool-ness’ he ever displays:
jesus, that man is a tool… but really.. to fully appreciate it, you need to remember the I Go To Extremes video.
You know, while we are discussing the drunken jew, do you remember when every one of his songs sounded like it should be the theme to a crappy sitcom? You know, like this one:
Right now, someone is sitting there totally rocking out to this shit… and you know, maybe they took all those tool comments personally… so for you lovers of the tool, here is more tool-ness:
so who would you take as the biggest tool? i go with the 2nd from the left… although the 2nd from the right… that matthew perry bloated drunk phase look… yeah.. well… awfully hard to decide…
i think what the world needs is a good week long trip on some serious fucking acid because, well you know why, you fucking tools…
Posted by spooneybarger
Fri, 06 Oct 2006 17:02:19 GMT
yes, really… just in time for halloween
Kitty Litter Cake
CAKE INGREDIENTS:
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"
1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper
1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan.
Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or
food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie
crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.
2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss
with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the
mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.
3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable.
Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more
rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining
white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over
top.
4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the
cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining
Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box
on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy!
Posted by spooneybarger
Wed, 04 Oct 2006 16:17:01 GMT
A man hears a knock on his front door. He rushes to open it only to find that no one is there. Put-out and slightly annoyed he starts to close the door when he sees a slug on the concrete slap in front of him. He bends down and scoops up the slug in his hand and throws it as far as possible across the front yard. Pleased with the distance, he smiles and closes the door.
One week later…there is another knock at the door. The man, once again, hurries to answer. He opens the door, and again no one. He curses the neighborhood kids and begins to close the door, when he again sees a slug on his front step. The slug looks up at him and says, “What the fuck?”
Posted by spooneybarger
Fri, 22 Sep 2006 16:11:39 GMT
I always play Russian Roulette in my head
It's seventeen black and twenty-nine red
How far from the gutter; how far from the pew
I'll always remember to forget about you
A good man is hard to find
Only strangers sleep in my bed
My favorite words are good-bye
And my favorite color is red
A long dead soldier looks out from the frame
No one remembers his war; no one remembers his name
Go out to the meadow; scare off all the crows
It does nothing but rain here, and nothing will grow
A good man is hard to find
Only strangers sleep in my bed
My favorite words are good-bye
And my favorite color is red
Posted by spooneybarger
Wed, 20 Sep 2006 17:07:00 GMT
A lonely mother gazing out of her window
Staring at a son that she just can't touch
If at any time he's in a jam, she'll be by his side
But he doesn't realize he hurts her so much
But all the praying just ain't helping
At all 'cause he can't seem to keep
His self out of trouble
So he goes out and he makes his money
The best way he knows how
Another body laying cold in the gutter, listen to me
Don't go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers
And the lakes that you're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way
Or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast
Little precious has a natural obsession
For temptation but he just can't see
She gives him loving that his body can't handle
But all he can say is baby it's good to me
One day he goes and takes a glimpse in the mirror
But he doesn't recognize his own face
His health is fading and he doesn't know why
3 letters took him to his final resting place
Y'all don't hear me?
Don't go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers
And the lakes that you're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way
Or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast
I seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come
Leaving a trace of not one God-given ray
Is it because my life is ten shades of grey
I pray all ten fade away
Seldem praise Him for the sunny days
And like His promise is true
Only my faith can undo
The many chances I blew
To bring my life to a new
Clear blue and unconditional skies
Have dried the tears from my eyes
No more lonely cries
My only bleedin' hope is for the folk who can't cope
With such an endurin' pain that it keeps 'em in the pouring rain
Who's to blame for shootin'caine into you're own vein
What a shame you shoot and aim for someone else's brain
You claim the insane and name this day in time
For fallin' prey to crime
I say the system got you victim to your own mind
Dreams are hopeless aspirations
In hopes of comin' true
Believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and you
Dreams are hopeless aspirations in hopes
Of comin' true, believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and you
Don't go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers
And the lakes that you're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way
Or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast
Don't go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers
And the lakes that you're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way
Or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast
Posted by spooneybarger
Thu, 14 Sep 2006 20:37:51 GMT
Boudreaux fell in love with Marie and asked her to marry him. Now,
Marie was very naive and uninformed about the birds and the bees.
Boudreaux was a poor fisherman and could not afford to take time off
for a honeymoon. So, that night that they were married, they retired to his
little shack on the bayou.
When Boudreaux was undressing, Marie said, "Oh Boudreaux, what dat is?"
Boudreaux being very quick thinking and sensitive to Marie's naivety
said, "Marie, my love, I am the only man in the world wit one of these."
And, then, he proceeded to show her what it was for.....and Marie was happy!
The next morning Boudreaux went off to fish as usual. When he
returned home that evening, Marie was on the front porch obviously upset
about
something.
"Boudreaux, you told me that you were the only man in the world with one of
those, and I saw Thibodeaux, our friend changing his clothes behind
the fish shed, and he had one, too."
Thinking fast, Boudreaux said, "Oh, Marie, darling,, Thibodeaux is my
very best friend. I had two of dem things, so I gave him one. He is the only
other man in the world with one of dosz."
Marie being very very naive, accepted his answer and they did their
thing again that night.
Boudreaux went off to fish again, the next morning, and when he
returned home, Marie was very upset, and stamping her foot on the porch.
Boudreaux said, "Marie, what is the matter now?"
"Boudreaux, you gave Thibodeaux the best one!!"
Posted by spooneybarger
Thu, 14 Sep 2006 17:56:00 GMT
Ran down and the lady said it
It got torn down
And the priest just said it
It got burned
They give me five years five years
It's my turn
Ran down and the lady said it
It got torn down
And the priest just said it
It got burned
They give me five years five years
It's my turn
Oh Jerusalem
Oh Jerusalem
Getting tired of you doing this to me
I'm gonna hit you if you say that to me
One more time
I want to see you
And you're saying you're busy
I want to stop it
And you said it would be easy
It sure takes time
Hope your next time
Gonna be the last time
Hope you dont two - time
It'll be the best time
There won't be no next time
Itaas show time
I hope you do
What you said
When you swore
You'd make it better
Deliver all the letters
On time
Jerusalem
Jerusalem
Jerusalem
Jerusalem
Jerusalem
Posted by spooneybarger
Mon, 28 Aug 2006 19:07:55 GMT
"HEY!" WHAT?? "Oh nothing, just wondering why it is you're doing
that whatever it is you're doing. "Oh yeah, why?" I dunno it just
doesn't seem like something you'd be doing that's all you of all
people, know what I mean? "Yeah I know it's been bugging you since the
day I was born, huh? I asked my friend Anne about it. I said, 'Anne,
Anne, Anne, what am I supposed to do,huh? It's been bugging them since the
day that I was born.' She said 'Do whatever the hell you want to do!
Now is the time where you can do anything, everything you do, anythingd it 's still gonna turn out great. You've got the world at your feet.'"
I never claimed to be different, I only said I was bored and she's
tired of your uniqueness, it sends her over head first then the rest
of her follows, the breath of life, it never left her hollow...
I can do everything, she said, she says with a smile.
And I can go anywhere tonight, cause I'm with Anne.
Anne, Anne, Who? Anne Dagnabit Island princess girl with the juice
ooh what have we here? oh I see she brought her whole uptown contingent. First there's Jonny, he always loves a party, he's followed by Vinnie, who's feelin' kinda skinny, he says "Hey Anne I'm starved what you got to eat, she
says "Vinnie you're always hungry man get away from that fridge!
Here comes Lucy, she's feelin' really sexy, she's followed by her
boyfriend, who'd better not turn around, this time, or he's bound to lose
her, yeah followed Jamilla, who's got the cream soda...
I can do anything I want I tell you again
We can go anywhere tonight, cause I'm with Anne
and we can do anything we want, I tell you again
We can go anywhere tonight, cause I'm with Anne
Anne, Anne, Who? Anne Dagnabit Island princess girl with the juice
